Are Sadists evil?

We already discussed the topic of whether people who take lashings or beatings as part of BDSM are crazy…but what about those people who inflict those beatings onto them? Are those people evil? Why do they seem to enjoy hurting others?

Well, the answer to that lies in the fact that most BDSM “Sadists” aren’t actually sadistic. Sure enough, they inflict pain in what may look to the outside as cruelty, but in reality, the vast majority of them are not simply deriving pleasure due to someone else’s suffering.

In a BDSM role-play, the relationship between top and bottom are known as “power exchange”, because the power, or control, is exchanged between the top and bottom. The top may have partial or full control over the bottom, but he or she doesn’t take power…it is given to them willingly by the bottom, and this is done with full trust that the top will use that power well. In that kind of situation, the bottom receives pain willingly, and derives a great deal of enjoyment from it, and the top doesn’t enjoy the bottom’s suffering, but enjoys the bottom’s enjoyment, just like in a massage, the person receiving the massage enjoys it, and the masseuse might relish that joy. A good BDSM top excels not in his or her use of more power, but smart use of that power. Inflicting blows or lashes isn’t done in order to cause endless pain or damage, but to lead the bottom on the path for maximum enjoyment, without surpassing the bottom’s pain threshold. In that sense, BDSM tops actually share a very close and loving relationship with their bottoms, and if you closely observe a BDSM scene, you will notice that a top doesn’t blindly slap the bottom around like you would be chopping a tree, but rather observe him or her intently to make sure that the appropriate amount and quality of pain is delivered and absorbed properly.

In other words, a BDSM Sadist is no more evil than a teacher giving homework to his or her students. They are simply doing their best to take good care of their partners and do right by them. This is also why it’s so important to have a safe word as part of BDSM play, so that the bottom has a clear way to signal to the top if there is genuine distress. While admittedly, not all BDSM role-playing sessions are perfectly balanced and efficient, the vast majority of them involve a good connection between the top and the bottom, that it’s not common for the safe word to be used. Instead, the top is able to sense exactly when is it that he or she should continue, and when he or she should stop, as the bottom has reached full satisfaction from the scene.

See you on the rack!