Are masochists crazy?

For most human beings, avoiding pain is pretty much a top priority, and this makes people who are new to the world of BDSM question the sanity of those of us who are the M in BDSM (masochists). Why would a person intentionally let themselves suffer? Why are there so many people who do that?

While Masochism is considered a perversion (we like to refer to it as a Kink, as perverts is a word more suitable for those who do things without consent), the scenario where someone derives enjoyment from an activity even though it involves a lot of suffering is much more common than you might think. Classic examples are marathon runners, boxers, wrestlers, and many other types of athletes. Many athletes endure extreme pain routinely, and they consciously elect to continue to do this daily, sometimes for decades. Another example is people who eat spicy food, many of which look for food that’s spicier and spicier. In fact, people even explicitly refer to spicy food as “the good hurt”. There are many similarities between these types of people and BDSM masochists. In fact, I’ve personally found a significant correlation between people who enjoy very spicy food and those who are “heavy” bottoms – masochists that can take more pain then the average during a BDSM scene.

There are several ways in which masochists derive pleasure from BDSM. First, I should clarify that even the most extreme BDSM masochists only enjoy pain in specific contexts. None of us enjoy banging out toe against the table or receiving a vaccine shot from the doctor. However, when pain is administered in a controlled fashion, it triggers a release of certain chemicals in the body, which affect how one feels. First, there’s Adrenalin, a hormone secreted by the Adrenal gland, and functions as a way to help us deal with a threat or danger. Pain triggers a release of Adrenalin, and that makes us stronger and more resilient, but also feels pretty damn good. This is known as “Adrenaline rush”, which is something a lot of extreme-sports enthusiasts are after. The stress induced by the pain also triggers a release of endorphins and neurotransmitters like dopamine, which can all lead to a feeling of euphoria and excitement. These biological reactions are a pretty good motivation already.

Another pleasurable aspect of BDSM is the feeling of accomplishment derived from having been subjected to a hardship, and surviving it. This is also somewhat similar to what makes athletes enjoy their sports. “I successfully ran 26 miles and made it through” could be what goes through a marathon runner’s mind, making them happy and proud, similarly to how “I got beaten by a stick for two hours and didn’t safe-out*” might go through a masochists mind (* ‘safing-out’ refers to someone stopping a session when it becomes unbearable to them). Similarly, sharing the experience with others is another fun aspect that can motivate masochists to seek new, cooler and more extreme ways to get tortured.

Finally, in a BDSM scene, there’s a certain kind of “togetherness” that doesn’t exist anywhere else. In a scene, the top (the person who inflicts pain) observes her or his bottom (the person receiving it) to a degree that’s very close to a mind-meld. This is because the top needs to make sure the bottom is safe, and that the administered treatment is “delivering” what is should, in the right quantity, quality and pace. Neither too fast, nor too slow. Not too hard, but not too soft. It’s a very delicate and difficult art-form that requires not just a lot of expertise and experience, but also empathy and caring. Scenes can happen between strangers, but really good ones can only happen when there’s a real bond between the top and bottom, and when that happens, the experience can be so intense that it can trigger a major emotional response, sometimes even days after the experience ended. 

One thing that’s important to keep in mind is that being a BDSM bottom doesn’t necessarily require one to be beaten to a pulp. While classic BDSM involves whips and floggers, the same feelings can be triggered effectively by tamer means. For example, tickling. Tickling doesn’t really hurt, doesn’t leave marks and doesn’t require strength, but it’s still an “attack” on the senses that can trigger the same hormone releases for most people and is similar in other aspects as well. For those curious about BDSM, I would highly recommend starting with that. Anyone can do it, and it doesn’t require a dungeon or special equipment (though I’d suggest using some restraints on the bottom to achieve the full effect). If you find yourself enjoying tickling someone, or getting tickled, then chances are you are one of us.

See you at the dungeon!