Labels of love

When talking to people, especially in the sex-positive community, is about one's preferences. One person is a bottom, another is a top, and some are 'switch' (meaning both). Another preference is, of course, sexual orientation - straight, gay, bi etc. Occasionally I ran across a person who refuses to use labels on principle. "Labels are bad" is the typical reason for this…but is that true?

Many people believe labels are a bad thing, and many professionals, such as psychologists, subscribe to that view as well…but are they right? I for one, totally disagree. Labels have been historically associated with a lot of bad stuff, but that doesn't make them bad. Labels are a tool, just like knives. In the right hands, any of these things can be an important tool, and in the wrong hand, a dangerous weapon. Same goes for labels. A label by itself does no harm…but if someone uses a label to exclude someone (for example, barring people from using a bathroom because they don't exactly conform to the label of "male" or "Female"), then this is bad behavior. The problem there isn't with the label itself, but with the person or organization that is applying the labels and creating unreasonable rules.

Another way labels can be a problem is when they are applied to people incorrectly or inappropriately. This could be a result of misunderstanding the person a label is applied to, or a misunderstanding the label itself. It can also happen when the person or group applying the labels is doing a bad job due to being lazy, ignorant, and many other reasons. A classic example of this are bisexuals, which is a group of individuals in the LGBTQ community who have suffered from misunderstanding and mislabeling for years. Even within the LGBTQ community, bisexuals are sometimes misunderstood or discriminated against for various reasons. However, even what that happens, the fault is still with those who misunderstand and discriminate, rather than the label itself

When not being misused, labels are actually quite useful, because they save a lot of time and effort in communications. One classic example is "Pansexual" (like me), which defines a person who is capable of being attracted not only to both Females and Males, but also to many other people on the LGBTQ spectrum that are outside these two groups. Using that label to refer to a person is much more efficient and clear than trying to explain it to someone else using words.

The main challenge with labels is that there are so many of them, and some are difficult to clearly understand or differentiate. For example, many people don't understand the difference between Queer and Gay. A lot has been written about that difference, so I won't go into it here, but learning the vocabulary of the sex-positive community can be extremely useful to anyone venturing in that realm. You might not want to carry some of these to the outside-world, as the public may misunderstand and judge you incorrectly (for example, many people think that people who practice Polyamory are all promiscuous, which is incorrect, of course), but using them with our people is quite fantastic and fun!